Talent

20140530-214900-78540521.jpgI have no idea what photo to use to sum up my talents. Here is a photo of Monty wearing glasses instead…

I am not one to blow my own trumpet. Talking about how awesome I am feels a bit like being in an interview, and I’m not sure I can put myself through that whilst being forced to watch England vs Peru. So here are some talents I have which have, but which are essentially useless:

Remembering song lyrics – can I remember my email password? No. Do I know what my memorable name is? No. Can I recite all of the lyrics to every blinking song I’ve ever heard more than twice? Hell yes I can! There’s valuable space in my brain being taken up by the lyrics to 5ive’s ‘Everybody Get Up’, which is almost definitely why I can’t remember where my car keys are.

Spoonerisms – for someone who studied languages, I am terrible at actually speaking. My personal favourite is the time I (tipsily) told my mum I’d be meeting up with a friend “one gay next beak”.

Hill starts – that’s right, no stalling for me! I have my clutch and accelerator balanced like the best of them. It’s just a shame that most of the drives I do are totally flat…

Accents – a friend and I once convinced a girl at school that we were American for over a year with our spectacular mimicry. Too bad there is absolutely no practical use for my great Welsh Valleys accent.

Buying nail varnish – I have been banned from buying more polish by more than one person, and one more than one occasion but those little glass bottles always find their way into my basket. I once went into TK Maxx promising I wouldn’t buy any and came out with ten! In fairness, they were beautiful…